Rude Awakening

As some one who has earned a degree in Communication and Culture I thought that I was a VERY effective communicator. I received a rude awakening today. I was perusing some articles on communication and realized that I do a lot of things that are defined as ineffective communication. I have become one of those people that sees the faults in others and not in his/herself....*hangs head*

According to Dr. Phil Rich (no not the Dr. Phil you're thinking) ineffective communication consists of one or more the following elements:

	Indirect (doesn't get to the point, never clearly states purpose or intention)
	Passive (timid and reserved)
	Antagonistic (angry, aggressive, or hostile tone)
	Cryptic (underlying message or purpose is obscured and requires interpretation)
	Hidden (true agenda is never stated directly)
	Non-verbal (meaning is communicated through body language and behaviors, not words)
	One way (more talk than listening)
	Unresponsive (little interest in the perspective or needs of the other person)
	Off base (responses and needs of the other person are misunderstood and misinterpreted)
	Dishonest (dishonest statements are substituted for true feelings, thoughts, and needs)

I will say that I am an effective communicator in some aspects of my life, but not in others. Consequently, in the relationships that I need to be the most effective is where I am suffering the most. I have no problem communicating with those I have a less intimate relationship with. With those people closest to me I struggle, and maybe it because I fear upsetting them, losing them, being judged by them. etc. This isn't something I am proud of, but it is something I am working on.

Thank God for introspection and the reminder that EFFECTIVE communication is:

	Direct (to-the-point, leaving no doubt as to meaning or purpose)
	Assertive (not afraid to state what is wanted or why)
	Congenial (affable and friendly)
	Clear (underlying issues are clear)
	Open (no intentionally hidden messages or meaning)
	Verbal (words are used to clearly express ideas)
	Two way (equal amounts of talking and listening)
	Responsive (attention paid to the needs and perspective of the other person)
	On Track (correctly interprets responses and need of the other person)
	Honest (true feelings, thoughts, and needs are stated

-Ace of Rambles